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Gaming in Retirement

Sablemage

Sablemage

Demi-God
“I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.” – Bruce Grocott
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Xaosseed was curious about “D&D in retirement”, particularly as the vast, immersive campaigns of my college days have not reappeared now that, in theory, I should have the time for them. Well, it’s like this…

It’s been five and a half years since I retired, and the plan for spending many more hours each week playing TTRPGs did not survive contact with reality. As part of the rationale for this blog is sharing what I learn with other GMs and players, here’s what I expected and what actually happened; Your Mileage May Vary, especially if you’re in better health than myself.

First, I expected there would be a lot more time to play games. There is some more, but not the full amount I previously spent working and commuting, not by a long shot. There are grandchildren to spoil, and keeping my house and body operational takes up more time than before. Also, while I’m still physically fit enough to do it, I’m spending a lot of time travelling; anything up to six months per year, and there’s a limit to what gaming can be done on the move. I won’t be able to keep the travel up forever, so it makes sense to front-load it. The upshot of all this is that over the course of a year, I probably spend about the same amount of time gaming now as I did before I retired.

Second, I expected that my friends would be more available, and scheduling would be less of an issue. What actually happened was that we all retired at different times, and most of them moved far away, out of easy reach; and as relatively recent retirees, we all spend more time travelling, eating out, looking after aged parents and/or grandchildren, and pursuing other hobbies; most of my friends were not as obsessed with gaming as I am to begin with, some of them have given up RPGs entirely, and a few have died. VTTs help, but frankly they are not as good as sitting around an actual table; my need to interact with other human beings in meatspace consumes more time out of the not-working bucket.

Third, I expected to be able to join new groups and play new games. In reality, local groups don’t play at times and places that are convenient for me, and they only want to play D&D 5E or Daggerheart, neither of which appeals to me. In theory I could join in VTT games to address all of those issues, but in practice scheduling remains a problem, not least because many players are still working, and also have young children or busy social lives. It’s also fair to say that without work to anchor them, such things as mealtimes and holidays are sliding around somewhat, which doesn’t help.

Fourth, I expected that I would retain enough health and energy to play as much as I wanted. In reality, I started slowing down in my 40s; hitting 60 was like running into a brick wall, and at 68 the remains of the wall fell on me while I was still trying to get up. A group will often forgive you falling asleep on them if you’re a player, especially if you’re playing VTT using push-to-talk so they can’t hear you snoring, but you can’t get away with it as the GM. I’ve coped with this so far by shifting increasingly to using published scenarios and running shorter sessions; I suspect that eventually I will also need to switch to something simpler than SWADE. A side issue is our gradually diverging tastes in games, which manifests itself as the groups I GM for getting gradually smaller over the years. Given that I am generally quite low on spoons by evening these days, that is probably just as well; once, I thought running a party of 9-10 was fine, but by the time I retired, 6 felt like too much, and these days I struggle with four and am seriously considering reducing to three players, or even two.

Finally, I expected that my enthusiasm for gaming would continue unabated; in fact, I feel a growing sense of ennui; I’ve been playing and running RPGs for half a century – been there, done that, got the T-shirt (in some cases, literally). It’s becoming increasingly difficult to summon the motivation to play in a game, let alone run one, and I have abandoned the idea that the Next Big Thing is actually going to be an improvement on what I already have.

None of this is necessarily bad, you understand, it’s just not what I expected, although if I’d thought it through, it was mostly predictable. Story of my life, really.

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I don't ever recall you nodding off in one of the games we've played so either you're hiding it well or I'm oblivious!
 
Sadly I have to agree with everything Sablemage has written. For me, retirement is not what I thought it would be. I used to have a very high pressure, high stress job that, in the end, I couldn't wait to leave, but now I need something to fill that vacuum. I thought Gaming would do it, but Covid killed my FTF Games and a couple of disastrous PBFs (including one where I had some very hurtful personal comments made about me) did not help my self-consciousness in meeting other people. So, the niche is filled with solo Gaming.
I have three Games on the go so I don't get burn-out on any one system or Game.
I am also trying to write a book (novel) which is in early stages yet and possibly another Hostile scenario for Zozer Games
As Sablemage also says - new games come along all the time but I am making a conscious effort to stick with what I have got.
 
On a more positive note (and from someone not actually retired) we have a nice three person group running which meets on Fridays. @Guvnor is retired, I have the benefit of a four-day week and the other player is approaching retirement and has restructured hours. Fridays are common for us, so we meet and start gaming at ... 09.30. Play through to around 12.30 and that's that. It works remarkably well - we get to have a good game, a natter, and a bright start to the weekend.

Reflecting on what other people have said, as I have got older, I have noticed:
  • the group sizes have got smaller; where we would have run 4-5 + GM, we now max out at 3+GM, and more likely 2+GM
  • gaps between sessions are more likely. Younger me would game bi-weekly, religiously. Now, there are far more reasons to miss a session.
  • solo gaming has become a thing
  • 1-2-1 gaming has become a thing.
 
My experience has been similar and yet different.
I have known for many years that I am a morning chronotype and as such the idea of being able to play in the mornings started to become very appealing.
To that end I have launched campaigns to about 12: 30-13:00.
One is my Pendragon game on Wednesday mornings which I have really enjoyed and I think my players have.
The other is also Pendragon, ftf at my dining table. I previously have run Traveller first thing in the morning.
I think it can take a change in logistics planning to switch to gaming in the morning, especially since other retired people doing deed have commitments to family that can increase when you retire.
Some people are probably night owls as well.
I have to say I think the level of disruption isn't really any different to the level of disruption I still see in evening games or weekend games.
I think I could play more games but then I would impinge on the rest of my life.
I agree with the idea that when you first retired you want to travel and visit places and do all those active things that you wanted to do. So maybe it's not a problem that you're gaming about the same level as before. It's a choice you've made.
What I would really like is for another morning "free bird" to step up and run a morning game, I can't run any more, and then I might just stop regularly gaming in the evenings.
If you are interested then PM me, there's a special part of the Tavern Discord for that.
As to system complexity, I seem to be okay with Traveller, BRP, Pendragon, or SWADE but I would also be happy using 24XX, Fate Accelerated, Ubiquity, Tripod or QuestWorlds.
I think we're still in a transitional state, and I'd be very keen to hear from anybody who would like to reach out and see what we can do about it and have some fun.
 
As I'm part-time now, I have more time for gaming but that hasn't translated (yet) into masses more gaming. I can be really flexible with my work, so that's good - but it turns out that when I want to work is in the morning (which is why I stepped back from Tom's Wednesday morning game).

I've been wondering about an afternoon game, game though.

The other thing is that for me, I have three strands to my general "gaming" hobby: ttrpgs, larps and board games. I count them all together - and if any one increases, that helps fill the "gaming" void in my life. And as far as board games are concerned, I've discovered a club in East Leeds that runs on a Tuesday night, and a monthly one in a village not far from here.

I've also discovered there's a U3A board games club in Harrogate, which has made me wonder about starting one in Wetherby...

Plus there are conventions, of course. I go more conventions (and stay longer) now I'm part-time than I used to as I no longer have to carefully ration leave. Right now I am booked into Furnace (Oct - ttrpgs), Consequences (Nov - larps), Cafe Casablanca (Feb - larp), BOX (Feb - larp). And in the diary but not yet booked are AireCon (March ttrpgs and board games), Peaky (April - larps), and Continuum (July - all three). Plus I will try to get to North Star (ttrpgs).

But I'm not fully retired yet.
 
Lot's of good points. I've already spoken with @Guvnor about his daytime gaming initiative. For one thing, I do tend to be more tired come evening and having the flexibility at present to manage my hours makes this an attractive and oddly transgressive proposition, both as a player or even as a GM if that helps build the critical mass.
 
I have to remind myself that I have been fully retired for more than 4 years now. My predominantly ttrpg gaming experience is that it can fill every waking moment if I allow it. I have family, some domesticity, hiking, and pleasure trips to distract me from the various gaming facets. Online play ensures a hefty dose of gaming, averaging out at about one game every two days.

The year so far (130 sessions):

1788952593564.png

Organising 5 conventions a year, in which I also play, and attending a few more, ups the session numbers by a fair chunk, also ensuring that I get some valuable face to face play in amongst the webcams. The balance is currently not right for me. I organise too many conventions and play a little too frequently, impacting my game writing, podcasting and YouTubing. I also don't learn, with me starting to wind up to offering another long form campaign, while still running The Enemy Within, estimating another 3.5 years to go on that one. One day I'll wind this back a bit, particularly if other commitments grow, but that day is not today.

I am very lucky to know you lot! Such fine GMs prepared to run such great games, your convivial gaming company, infusing me with inventiveness, camaraderie, silliness and good laughs.

Cup runneth over.
 
Excluding conventions, my game cycle looks like this at the moment:

Tuesday eve (weekly) - Coriolis - Dom - sense this is going to be a long one.
Wednesday morning (periodically over summer) - Pendragon - Tom - a mid to long term campaign with planned off/on ramps for people.
Wednesday eve weekly - Star Trek 2D20 - Simon - long campaign but now drawing to an end.
Thursday eve fortnightly - Warhammer Fantasy 4e - Me as GM - Enemy Within 1.5 years into a 5 year cycle.
Thursday eve fortnightly - Various - european friends - short form mini campaigns to try out different games that enthuse us.
Saturday afternoon fortnightly - Warhammer Fantasy 4e - Canadian/USA/European group - long term campaign
Sunday evening fortnightly - Tales of the Valiant - Canadian/USA/European group - session 8 of a one-off.

These are all subject to varying amounts of wobble depending on me or the group. Fortnightly groups have the advantage of space to breathe if you are going for the long term, and the downside that if you miss one it disrupts the continuity. Play with three players.

Like the idea of another morning game, but something needs to give.
 
I should have retired a couple of years ago, but chose to stay on with reduced hours. I now do 20 hours over 4 days, and it looks like I will completely retire in 2028 as the software package I use is being discontinued end of 2027. Until then, I can only do evenings, Friday and weekends which is a bit limiting. I would have liked to join Tom's Wednesday game but unless I switch my non-working day, that isn't going to happen.

It's actually been a good idea reducing my hours; I'm now doing a lot more outside work and am slowly stepping back from work. Still loathe housework, though!
 
Retired two years ago. Don't miss work at all. I'm not sure that my frequency of gaming has picked up (usually 3-4 sessions a month) but I do have more time to get my head around and prepare a wider variety of rpgs than before. Currently running Casting the Runes, Judge Dredd (using Cepheus), Dracula Dossier and 1950s Delta Green. Usually play in the evenings as that's when my players are available. Also I tend to be doing other things in the day, especially during summer. Come deepest darkest winter I'll probably retreat inside a bit more, and up the gaming prep time.

All my gaming done via VTT these days, think the last face to face game I played was about a year before Covid.
 
I think my main issues are lack of energy and lack of motivation, which I think are related. @Guvnor is right, it's a choice, but it's a choice within the limits imposed by those factors and demands from the family. Not a complaint, just not what I expected.
 
I empathize* with almost all these comments. My advice would be to look at when your energy levels are highest. Then decide what you want to do with that energy through the week. Then seeing what your family wants you to do. From that you can start to work out when you can play. I think the biggest step is realizing you no longer have to structure your day the way that you did when you worked. There are lots of other retirees who are willing to play in the daytime on a vtt. Your partner may actually quite enjoy using the mornings for their own hobbies. And so on and so on.
 
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* Apart from @First Age, I am in awe of his energy levels.
 
I'm just over four years retired and as an historical miniatures gamer rather than a role-player my take's going to be somewhat different.

My overwhelming preference is to host games rather than play in other people's. I was the same as a role-player and I think it was a combination of having neither the time to develop whole RPG campaigns nor the sustained enthusiasm to see them through that caused me to fall out of love with the hobby.

Prior to retirement I tried to host one (Saturday afternoon) game a month at home and play a few "away matches" at various events. Retirement has coincided with my getting involved with a number of gaming communities with/for whom I'm putting together games that need to attract players in competition with other offers.

Two months ago I committed (foolishly) to putting on a game at an event that took place last weekend. This meant finishing off two armies, building a lot of terrain, learning a new set of rules, and designing the scenario from what was only a vague outline! Stupid but because I'm retired I was able to give a lot of time to it. Basically for the last seven weeks it's been pretty much a full-time job.

The result is that I'm not playing much more often than I did but when I do put on a game it's a more designed affair where I've put a lot of effort into making it the best gaming experience I can (in terms of both visual impact and scenario design).
 
Counterpane said:
fall out of love with the hobby.
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It's both cool to prefer wargames and also, you run the most roleplay rich wargames EVAH! Power to your elbow !
 
Interesting perspectives, thanks to all who have shared.
I'm in a slight different position: not retired but it's hoving into view. Got no family of my own and my mum won't be around forever so don't have that pleasure/luxury/burden awaiting me.
I have recently reconnected with old gaming pals where I used to live (about an hour away) and wangled myself an invite to a monthly Saturday face to face game. I also play weekly online, where we share the GMing between 3 so we all get a chance to play.
I'd love to do more when the time comes, but both of those groups have younger people who will still be working so any extra play will involve new people and either travelling, or be online and potentially with folk in another timezone (which I did immediately post Covid when I could work from home so got an extra hour in bed!).
Gaming seems like a good activity once my body starts to fall apart, hope to be doing it for many years to come.
 
My suggestion is that we try and group together those of us who are free in the daytime and organized games for us. This would be separate to the games with young people who still have things to do in the day.
On the whole I think that's likely that those daytime games will be online because that supports rolling out of bed into the morning grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting down without having to go through the rigmarole of getting up and out the house.
Not that I mean anyway suggesting this is the only thing we do with our lives I think it's only a small proportion of the days of the week.
Plus if you're a night owl it's not going to work for you.

Anyway if you are interested please do let me know because there is a section of the tavern discord that is just for people who are interested in gaming in the daytime.
 
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